Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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