according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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