marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
