I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
