She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
