But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
