saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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