i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
