My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize