fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
