We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
