They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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