You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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