how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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