i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
