Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
