one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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