wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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