I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
