508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he fucked my hip out of place.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have fence marks all over my body
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
