So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
