Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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