Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
