Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So much Jack, so little girl.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
