I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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