he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
