I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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