Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
