So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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