Me. At least after what I've been through.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There r osticjed everywhere
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
