you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
