I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize