We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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