After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't want my vagina anymore.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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