oh god the rape fog is back!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
