She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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