I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
soo... how was my night?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
