so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize