I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
