She is in my trunk
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
