Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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