Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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