I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
