Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
