no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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