But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
