the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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