He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
