how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize