Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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