Plan B is the new Plan A
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize