You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
