ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
