Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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