I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
