i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We talked him into tasing himself.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
