Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
