you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize