I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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