I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
