your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
