he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
