piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
