at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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