oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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